The other day my husband and I had a good laugh and a reality check when we found ourselves completely consumed by parenthood.
We had the day off together, and we were attempting to wrangle our two and a half year old to her room for a (probably non-existent) nap. She was wrapped around one of his legs like a koala bear, and he was dragging her as he walked. He had a burp cloth over his shoulder that had been there for who knows how long. I had the baby in my arms crying, and I had just finished feeding her. I was wearing the same pajama pants for the second or third day in a row, a sweatshirt (probably my husbands because none of my clothes fit me anymore), and underneath that I had on a nursing bra with one side unclipped and a boob still hanging out. We won’t even talk about my hair. Our house was a mess – I’m talking tornado just touched down mess – and our living room was covered in unfolded laundry, crumbs and toys. My husband looked up at me, and half laughing said “Look at us. Look at our lives right now. This is what real life with two kids looks like. THIS is what you should write about. Our lives are a mess but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.”
And he was right, so here we are.
I think our fast-paced lives, and presence on social media has a way of portraying a false sense of perfection and expectation for us and we need to do better. Our social media feeds are filled with curated pretty content but it often overlooks the down and dirty parts of real life and parenthood. We shove all the clutter and mess out of the way to take a pretty, styled photo. We take a million photos of our kids to get ONE semi-decent one to post. We leave ourselves out of photos because we look like a HOT mess. Our feeds are (mostly) a highlight reel of our lives because let’s face it, we don’t want to only post and read all the negative stuff every day because we have enough negativity in our world right now as is.
Basically what I’m trying to say is – don’t ever compare your life to anyone else’s, especially while scrolling through social media. No one has a perfect life, and no one has it together all the time despite what they show the world on social media. It is only a tiny portion of their reality, and just know we are ALL struggling in our own ways.
REAL life parenthood is messy – and that’s okay. Once the kids are grown and the chaos is gone, we’ll miss this mess. Our kids won’t remember or care how clean our house was, but they’ll remember the living room forts, magnetic tile castles, and the costumes we put on to play with them. THESE hot mess days are the days we’ll hold onto for a lifetime, so embrace every minute of them and don’t be too hard on yourself. We are all out here just doing our best, and that is ENOUGH.